Because I constantly get phone calls from school telling me he tried to stab a teacher with a pencil or attempted to cut himself with a pencil sharpener blade or that he’s mad, and can I please come to calm him down? Because I experience so many questions, raging episodes, and endless arguments that by 7:00 p.m., I can’t even remember what I did that day. Because he goes to school every day where his best friend is his teacher. Because his remorse and sadness are too much for my weary heart. Because every day, I feel confident that God chose the wrong mother for Grayson. Because I spend all day feeling frustrated and all night feeling guilty for feeling frustrated. Because I’m at a loss for how to help my child. Because in this captured moment, my heart melts, and I can set aside my fears and frustrations and see my son—a human being–simply loving his cousin, desperately needing to be loved.
Because at this moment, I’m reminded that God gave Grayson to me more for my sake than his.
