Friday, we left for the mountains to celebrate Grayson’s thirteenth birthday. Pulling away from the house, celebrating was the furthest thing from my mind, as by then, I had already endured Grayson’s infinite mind changes and endless deliberations over where to celebrate, who we should invite, where we would eat, what we would eat, what […]
Huge Little Victories Read More »
It is said that around the time that Christopher Columbus set sail, the English pirate Drake was raking Spanish holdings up the west side of the Americas. As Columbus sailed into the unknown, his fearful crew was allegedly on the brink of mutiny—mutiny, rather than come to the edge of…whatever. In this perilous atmosphere, Columbus
Another Day: “Sailed On” Read More »
Because I constantly get phone calls from school telling me he tried to stab a teacher with a pencil or attempted to cut himself with a pencil sharpener blade or that he’s mad, and can I please come to calm him down? Because I experience so many questions, raging episodes, and endless arguments that by
Why I Need to Remember This Moment… Read More »
The end of summer feels a bit like wandering through the aftermath of a natural disaster. Mentally moving from room to room, I assess all the inflicted damage after several months at home with five kids, namely my autistic son, Grayson. There’s the cracked window in the basement, door jamb plates that have been sneakily
I packed a sack lunch for my oldest son today. I literally can’t even remember the last lunch I packed for him. But today was his first day of work. A real job. Manual labor. Packing that lunch and sending him off on his own made me realize that even though, on the one hand,
The Destabilizing Power of a Sack Lunch Read More »
My dad told me this once. For a wheat seed to come fully into its own, it must become wholly undone. The shell must break open, its insides must come out, and everything must change. If you didn’t understand what life looks like, you might mistake it for complete destruction. —The Broken Way by Ann
I’m sitting by the fire in my pajamas at 11:00 p.m. on New Year’s Eve. Everyone is either sleeping or gone. A tinge of wistful sadness settles in with the quieting of the house as I look back over the course of this year. There is a sense of finality with the passing of 2016—another
Nothing New this New Year Read More »
Lately, a few unanswered questions have been rolling around in my head, flaring whenever I sit down to write. They’re as persistent and loud as my children banging on my locked bathroom door, and their redundant, mental interrogations are almost enough to make me wave the white flag of surrender. “What is the point of
I’m Outside Alone. Again. Read More »
A fourteen-hour glimpse into the holidays with an autistic child: Wednesday December 21, 2016: 3:00 p.m.—Grayson gets into the car with an fantastic bag of Christmas goodies from his teacher and immediately gives everything to his sister because “it’s all stupid…” 3:01 p.m.—…then quickly takes it back because “it’s actually
Christmas Humility Comes Early Read More »
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