I sat in my car yesterday morning, mindlessly staring out my window at the elementary school playground and waiting for my daughter to emerge from our local coffee shop with two steaming morning lattes. Involuntarily, my eyes focused in on a mother walking her son into school–hand in hand. At once, my chest constricted, and […]
The Interconnectedness of Grief and Aliveness Read More »
Several years ago, it occurred to me that I was living a life I did not wish to be living. I was stressed, angry, and completely un-peaceful. I was constantly rushing about frantically, driven by the confines of time as dictated by my calendar. In short, my life felt out of control, or in other
To REspond or DEspond? That is the Question. Read More »
“We fail to understand the Divine, not because we aren’t able to extend our concepts far enough, but because we don’t know how to begin close enough.” –Abraham Herschel- August 15, 2022 I took the kids to eat at a fast food restaurant yesterday after church. The Cracker Barrel had waiting lines out the door,
Heaven Stooped Low Read More »
*Disclaimer and warning: Do not read if you are easily offended. There is nothing admirable in the words that follow. My parenting skills are abhorrently MIA, and my actions are questionable at best. There is no point, no glimmering lesson. It is simply a stark, bare naked sliver of reality, written mainly for me. It
July 23, 2022 – Part 1: Regarding Fear Yesterday, Arin and I spent an hour-and-a-half hiking up and down the grassy knolls of our new property and exploring the winding ravines that snake through the bottom of what I’ve secretly labeled “the scary forest.” Right off, we saw a coyote big enough to be a
The Chains That Bind Us Read More »
July 5, 2022 I am mid-stride in the kitchen when the darkness hits. Without warning, it rolls in as quickly as the afternoon thunderstorms, although my darkness feels much more smothering and muggy. Siphoning my breath and dousing my previous exuberance, the darkness accosts me, demanding an immediate account for my actions: What have you
The Sinewy Connections of Life, Death, Longing, and Fear Read More »
July 3, 2022 “Your Aspens look diseased,” my mom offhandedly remarks from the breakfast table overlooking one of our many new-to-us Aspen groves. “You could get an arborist to come up here and take a look,” she suggests. Instantly, my chest tightens with stress—yet another expense, one more item on my to-do list, and my
July 2, 2022 My eyes flicker open to the dark outline of a mountain, and I blink repeatedly, willing the looming shape to disappear, yet simultaneously praying it wouldn’t. This inner disparity makes me feel instantly crazy, for the decision to move was mine. I had driven the real estate search (much to my husband’s
I Went to the Woods Read More »
Like scattered toys, the firetrucks and ambulances were parked willy-nilly as if dropped from the hand of a careless child. We maneuvered our car in and out between them. I just wanted was a candy bar. As I paid the yawning attendant with glazed-over eyes, I politely tried to sneak a peek at the scene
Death at a Gas Station Read More »
It is said that around the time that Christopher Columbus set sail, the English pirate Drake was raking Spanish holdings up the west side of the Americas. As Columbus sailed into the unknown, his fearful crew was allegedly on the brink of mutiny—mutiny, rather than come to the edge of…whatever. In this perilous atmosphere, Columbus
Another Day: “Sailed On” Read More »
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